Love and Pain
by lust love and pain
Summary: Izaya has been missing for a week, not a trace was left of him in Ikebukuro. A cloud of mystery surrounds the informant, what will happen when a certain blond body guard starts to question Izaya's reasons? Rated M for Abuse, Language, Rape and Later chapters(Smut!)
1. Frustration and sunsets

It was like any other day in the fine city of Ikebukuro. Busy people and noisy traffic, that's what it was all about. And weaved in between the bustling people, were the usual workers of the day. Simon was selling sushi over by the stand, and Celty was riding around, finishing up jobs that had been assigned to her.

Oh, and of course, Shizuo was beating the shit out of 'clients' that didn't pay up.

And yet, it seemed that there was something off today... well, scratch that. There was something off about the week, as if something was missing. And by all odds, Shizuo, he knew exactly what it was.

He hadn't seen the flea in almost two weeks. Two long weeks went by with no sight of the annoying raven, whatsoever. The man was so giddy, he was practically radiating a sense of triumph.

Who knows what could of caused this? Maybe the flea had finally taken his advice to stay out of Ikebukuro. Perhaps he finally got some sense pounded into that tiny brain of his. As idealistic as that sounded, another emotion besides pride tugged at the fake blond. Perhaps it was worry? It very well could be, and everyone knew that the raven would never accept the idea that he wasn't wanted here. He knew, somewhere in the back of his mind, that Izaya would never get the fact through his thick skull... and the thought wasn't helping a bit.  
But if he didn't leave, then what could of happened? Did he get lost? Or Kidnapped?  
...Maybe he actually was worried.

No.  
No way, he was NOT worried about Izaya.  
He quickly squashed the feeling of doubt, pushing it to the back of his mind. But no matter how hard he tried, it lingered in his train of thought. Kind of like a fly lingers at a Dinner Table. Swat all you want, it'll avoid your attempts to exterminate it.

In a desperate attempt to get his attention off of Izaya, He turned his thoughts back to what he was doing.

And you know what? He began to feel better. His cold glare was directed at the client below, who was struggling hopelessly in his grip, "P-Please!" he squealed, terror filling his eyes as a spring rain would a bowl. "I'll... I'll have the money soon, sir, I swear! I need just a bit more time, time to get this all organized. Just please don't hurt me!"  
Shizuo's hard expression didn't change as the man begged for more time. Pathetic, humans were. Begging for their lives, looking for any escape route to an inevitable fate that was destined to happen anyway. What was twenty more years? His glance slid to Tom, who gave a small sigh, allowing the man his freedom. "Fine." Tom shrugged, no remorse showing in his features. "We'll give you a month. A month to get the cash. Then, we'll be back."

Shizuo let out a terrifying growl , and proceeded to toss the client to the wall, turning to the door. There was no heed paid to the now-sobbing man, who didn't rise from his place on the floor. He stepped out of the house, the irritation not leaving him.

Ever since Izaya had stopped coming to Ikebukuro, he found his anger had been building up more and more. It was a freaking time bomb, no matter what he did, or how he did it, the ugly feeling of hate kept rising.. Ugh, he was becoming stressed! Even losing sleep because of the Flea's absence. He was becoming pissed off at every single client, even the ones who paid up at the spot, no struggle or excuses.

This was getting ridiculous, completely ridiculous.  
Where. the FUCK. WAS HE!?

Wait.

Why would he care?

Shizuo, of all people should be overjoyed that the informant was gone. No one to get in his way now, right? All the freedom he wanted.  
Yet he wasn't. In fact, the brute was almost the opposite, he kept trying to tell himself it was just because he wasn't sleeping well. The flea had NOTHING to do with it.

It was all blamed on a lack of Sleep.  
Hormones.  
Depression.  
Mental Disorder.  
Anything /ELSE/ was the culprit.  
Anything.  
...Other then Izaya.

Tom had obviously noticed how tense the man had grown, which wasn't exactly surprising, since it seemed like agitation radiated off of him these days.  
"...Hey, Shizuo."  
"What." His response came out cold and firm. It took everything Tom had NOT to flinch back at the tone of harshness the voice carried.  
"Dude. That was the last stop for the day, we'll finish up tomorrow. ." Shizuo looked at his boss, a bit dumb-founded.  
"But, it's so early! I mean, we don't have any other clients?"  
Actually, it was around 5:30pm. The sun was threatening to set soon.  
But in Shizuo's anger laced mind, he was only getting started. Too many people were getting off easy.

"Ah. . I guess so. But I think you could use a break. You seem kind of... tense."

Shizuo twitched in irritation. "Ugh... Alright, whatever."

Great.  
Fucking. Great.

The last thing Shizuo had to vent his frustration was gone completely. There was no one left to smash, no one left to punish.  
No one left to bully.  
Except...  
As if the man could read his mind, Tom rushed off, slightly scared for his own being. He obviously knew how Shizuo could be.

Irritated at his loss of venting, He let out a low growl and started to walk. Who knows? Maybe being alone would help his stress.  
Yeah, right.  
He let out a frustrated sigh and trudged on in silence, noting how the city started to quiet. Less cars were on the street, and less people were walking. He let out a breath of air, allowing some of his anger to melt of going home, he strolled into the park. It may be quiet out now, but Shizuo was searching for sweet silence.

A few couples were sprawled out in the grass, holding each other, kissing and hugging. It was easy to imagine the whispers that were exchanged between them. Overrated 'I love you's', corny jokes, complaints about school work... the list could go on. The blond couldn't help but feel a pang of envy. He had never had a high school sweet heart, or even a girlfriend for that matter.  
Ever.  
Most of the women were scared of Shizuo, thinking he was abusive and cold. But if someone took the time to open him up and look inside, they would find a completely different person. He cursed his strength, and his temper was an unwanted asset. Under it all, the rough surface, was the real Shizuo. He was about as harmful as a puppy. He'd never let anyone know that though, of course not! He could just imagine all the people who would try to take advantage of him.

Quietly, he passed by the couples without a word. His focus was on the cool air. He had to admit, Tom's idea was actually a good one. The mentioned stress and anger of the day had all but faded away, as if it was nothing more than a mere memory.

He slowly walked to the fountain in the middle of the park, for that was his spot. A spot where he could just relax, and forget all his problems. His gaze was trained to the floor, all the couples he saw just kept reminding him how alone he was in this world. The only family member he had left was his brother and honestly, he had a feeling he hated Shizuo.  
He probably did too.  
Kind of like everybody else, but could he blame them?

Soon enough he was a few feet away from the fountain, the area was totally vacant- except for one person besides himself. There stood a man, hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket, the fur trim blowing softly in the breeze. His brownish red eyes were studying the water in the fountain, the gaze was almost totally vacant.

Shizuo's heart stopped. He knew exactly who this was.

. . .

. .

.

"IZAYA!"


	2. otoro and secrets

**Sugar: My god! I didnt expect to get any reviews let alone 9 of them! ^_^ thanks guys. you really made my day, i hope you'll continue to read my stories!** **my writing isnt the best but it isnt the worst either, if you see a flaw or something you dont like in the story point it out to me so i'll know to avoid it in the future. Also! go ahead and give me some ideas if you have one.**

**Shizuo: you talk to much -_- lets just get on with the damned story**

**Sugar: D: Shizu-chan is so mean!**

**shizuo: DONT CALL ME THAT**

**sugar: Yeah yeah anyways, thanks again and izaya here's your que**

**izaya: SUGARKITTYMOON DOES NOT IN ANY WAY OWN DURARARA. IF SHE DID WELL. . WE'D ALL BE FUCKED.**

* * *

The raven seemed to jump at the sound of shizuo's voice. He whipped around and faced the fake blond, his brown-ish red eyes wide- well the one that was visible anyways. A tuff of hair was covering izaya's right eye completely, a new look for the flea. A weak smirk spread across his face "Heh. Oh shizu-Chan its just you"

Shizuo let out an audible growl "I thought I told you to stay out of Ikebukuro flea!" he snarled. The informant let out a chuckle. "I'll always come to ikebukuro" he smirked "as long as you're here Shizu-chan!"

Shizuo growled again, this time a bit softer. There was something off about the informant, as if his remarks seemed like they were half hearted, his voice seemed slightly pained as well. The blond quickly shrugged it off, "Fucking flea" he snarled once again "I'll kill you if you ever step foot in ikebukuro again!"

He reached for the closest object- a bench. The metal groaned and squealed as Shizuo pried it from the ground. Izaya smirked to himself "Oh shizu-chan haven't you learned anything at all since we've known-" he sprung away from the place he had been standing, dodging the oncoming bench. "eachother. Have you?" he smirked.

The air around Shizuo was crackling with anger, his negative feelings had built up quickly considering the fact he had been bottling them all up the entire week. "Shut the fuck up" he hissed. He was at his breaking point, the anger was becoming way to much for Shizuo to handle, his thoughts were mixed up and clouded. Anger was enveloping his entire being, taking over his senses. He had never in all his life felt this much hate and anger. . .

He wanted to hurt the flea, he wanted to bash his brains in, make him scream and beg for mercy. See the pain on his face, his beautiful screams filling the nigh- what. Shizuo suddenly blinked at his own thoughts. These weren't his, sure he hated Izaya- truly hated , and he did want to kill the arrogant flea. But such violent thoughts. . .actually wanting to hear his screams of agony? wasn't Shizuo. That wasn't Shizuo at all.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by Izaya's voice "look. . I have to go. I was just getting some otoro. . I don't have time right now to play" his voice was completely serious, completely unlike izaya. Then a cocky grin spread across the raven's face. "Heh. But Shizu-chan" he winked. "Try not to miss my sexy-ness too much okay?"

His comment made the blond roll his eyes in annoyance, yup. He was fine he concluded. Without another word izaya had rushed off back to Shinjuku he assumed. He let out a sigh, he was honestly disappointed that izaya had left so early. But he should be glad right? He didn't have to deal with the flea's smart ass come backs. But still, he had all this rage built up, he was hoping quite possibly he could get most of it out on izaya. but unfortunately for him the stupid informant decided to run off just when he was about to explode. God there was so many things irking him at this moment.

Like the way izaya was acting

He had never seen the flea act so. .serious. Sure he had a few sarcastic and snarky come backs but they seemed half-hearted and vacant as if they had no meaning to it at all. His look was weird too. . his jacket zipped up completely. Maybe that wasn't too abnormal bit it wasn't too cold of a night, no it was more soothing than chilling. And then there was his hair, it was covering the right side. He had never seen izaya change his hair. But then again he may just be reading too much into it. The flea was entitled to change, and he could do so at whim.

Shizuo frowned and sat on the edge of the fountain, for some reason the anger he had felt before had melted away, like a snowflake on a warm surface, nothing but a memory now. Instead it was replaced with a different feeling. It was crossed between worry, curiosity and uncertainty. He let out an irritated growl at himself. He Shizuo heiwajima shouldn't be worrying over someone as low as the flea! He narrowed his honey colored eyes at the ground, _I guess it isn't complete 'worry' but I do want to know whats going on with him . . .why he hasn't been in ikebukuro for so long. . ._

He bit his lip, another thing coming into his mind. The thoughts he had thought earlier, those bone chilling thoughts. Even though Shizuo was a violent person, he absolutely HATED violence and those thoughts were absolutely terrifying to him. He shuddered, the voice he had heard wasn't even his own! It was deep and slightly raspy. It was probably the anger getting to him, he thought. _Once I find a way to vent my anger that horrid voice will be gone. . ._

He then stood _maybe I can find out something from shinra about izaya, he owes me anyways. _He thought, knowing that shinra had owed him from a few days ago when he had almost been slaughtered by a color gang. Shizuo had intervened and well . .lets just say they wont be walking for quite some time.

He started to walk toward shinra's place, his hands in his bartender's pockets. He was sure shinra knew something about why he was acting so strange. izaya and him had a way better relationship than Shizuo did with the informant. Soon enough the bodyguard had reached said man's house. He knocked a bit harshly, unable to really control his strength when he was pounding on something. "Oiiii Hold on Shizuo! I'll be right there!" Of course shinra knew it was him, who else would bang on a door like that?

The door opened, the underground doctor stood there "come on in Shizuo" he motioned for him to come inside. The fake blonde stepped inside the apartment. "Now, whats up? Need me to fix any type of wound?" he asked considering that seemed to be one of the main reasons Shizuo visited him.

He just shook his head and took a seat on the couch. "Oh?" the man tilted his head, sitting in another chair across from Shizuo "What brings you here then?" he asked, intrigued. "well . ." Shizuo mumbled, seeming a bit awkward. "I wanted to ask something" he said, looking up from the floor to shinra. "about Izaya"

The underground doctor seemed a bit surprised and seemed to get a bit cautious at the question "wha?" he cleared his throat. "what do you need to know?" he asked a bit warily, knowing that izaya would diffidently get revenge on him if he ended up giving away vital info to Shizuo.

Shizuo shifted a bit uncomfortably "Have you seen him lately?" he asked looking at shinra " when I saw him in the park a while ago something seemed a bit off about him . ." he said, cautiously picking his words, he didn't want to give the impression that he actually cared! He didn't. . .of course.

"Off?" he tilted his head. Shizuo nodded "Yeah. . ." Shinra blinked a few times "Actually, he just stopped by yesterday he needed me to tend to a broken rib and a few bruises." Shizuo felt his heart stop involuntarily, "You really shouldn't be so rough with him Shizuo! That rib could have punctured his lungs!" the blond was silent as the doctor lectured him.

". . ."

"Are you listening?!"

". . .Shinra."

"What?"

". . .i haven't seen izaya in almost two weeks. . theres no way I could have done that to him" Shizuo said, his gaze locking with Shinra's ". .so you didn't cause those bruises?" "No. . ."

"then who did?"

* * *

**Izaya: oh come onnnn so not fair! D: i barely had any lines in this capter**

**Sugar: *pats izaya's head* Now now, dont fret dear. this entire freaking story is practically based around you . . Oh and shizuo too =w=**

**Shizuo: *rolls his eyes* Ugh. what ever. i cant wait till this stupid story is over**

**sugar: =3= well then.**


	3. A deal

**Sugar: okay, once again thanks for the reviews. and i wanted to say one thing, thanks for pointing out the grammar errors, honestly i have never been awesome when it came to grammar, so i'll apologize now and try my best not to make that mistake again. now. onto the story.**

**Shizuo: Sugarkittymoon does not own durarara in any shape or form. **

* * *

The bartender and the underground doctor had a small stare down. Neither spoke for the longest time. ". . .Shizuo. .if you didn't do that to Izaya. . who did?" The blond shook his head "I don't know." He said, standing. "And I don't care, if that fucking flea wants to go out and get the shit beaten out of him. He can go right ahead. He's just making my job easier"

Shinra frowned "Shizuo. . ."  
"what"

His response colder and more harsh than needed or expected. "can You watch over him?" Shinra asked meekly. ". . ." Shizuo whipped around, facing the doctor. "You expect ME. TO BABY SIT THE FUCKING FLEA?!" he let out a straight out snarl.

Shinra laughed a bit nervously "Uh . .I-I wouldn't call it 'baby sitting. . ." The doctor offered a small smile "Just watch over him and see if anything seems off or different." "why should i?" The bodyguard hissed. "Because" Shinra said with a sudden burst of confidence, "You're the one who sees him the most In a day! Don't think it as baby sitting Shizuo. Its more of er. . . spying! Yeah. spying!" He grinned.

Spying? That's practically stalking the flea. It would also mean stooping down to the flea's level and actually stalking someone. The thought made him sick, yet it intrigued him. Who had put all those wounds on him, that was a question he wanted an answer to. As much as he didn't want to admit it to himself, did didn't like anyone hurting Izaya, if anyone was going to hurt him It would be Shizuo. It was an unspoken rule but everyone seemed to know it.

"Fine" the ex bartender finally breathed. Shinra blinked, not expecting to persuade Shizuo so well. _Well . . .im not complaining!_

"Just give me a call if you find out anything alright?" The doctor asked. Shizuo just nodded and stood, heading toward the door. He walked out, by this time it was fully night, the sun had set and the city had gone to sleep. He quietly walked down the sidewalk not uttering a sound, he was slowly making his way toward his own apartment. Today had seemed to be a wayyyyy longer day than usual, he had less work yet it was even more stressful.

He groaned faintly as he felt his head start to throb.

Just great

A headache. How lovely.

He stopped for a moment, the throbbing getting worse, like a pounding in his head. "F-Fuck" usually Shizuo could handle pain, but this was just too much. If Shizuo was a regular person, he would probably be screaming right now, but the blonde had a higher pain tolerance than many people did. It felt as if he had a steam roller roll over his head. _M-maybe I should go back to s-shinra's. . ._ Even the man's thoughts were slurred with pain. Even if he was to turn around and head back to Shinra's, how would be be able to find his way there? He wasn't even sure if he could stand up let alone walk correctly.

The blonde was leaning up against the brick wall of a building, most of his weight was on the building wall. He refrained from opening his honey colored eyes, his vision was spinning and blurry, causing the headache to worsen and become far more intense.

"God-d d-dan-. . damn it" he slurred and opened his eyes, he had to get home and he couldn't do it with his eyes closed. He took a few steps, that's when his legs gave out. Things seemed to fade into black, the color and picture leaving his vision, sound following as well. After that darkness, it stayed this way for a while.]

Soon enough he began to hear sound, but it was muffled and slurred, almost inaudible. Almost. Along with the sound blurred and warped vision faded into view. It looked as if he was watching a movie through a cylinder tube.

Few lines of the dream was able to be interpreted clearly, "You stupid piece of shit" a male said, he was able to tell that this was a male because of two reasons, one, the voice and two, he was the taller of the two figures in the dream. From what Shizuo could tell the man had dark blue hair, an odd color indeed but hey! This was a dream. He also was fair skinned, like Izaya. with dark sapphire eyes. The other figure was smaller and didn't have as sturdy of a frame. He had dark brown hair, fair skin and red-ish brown eyes. . .wait. that described Izaya very well. .

Shizuo felt himself flinch as the older and taller male struck the Izaya look alike, it was clear it was no playful smack either. The smaller male yelped and cowered back, the brunette murmured something inaudible. "Your going to pay dearly for this you worthless human" the man snarled before punching the look alike in the stomach as hard as he could.

Shizuo tried to reach out and say something, but then he realized a peculiar thing, he had no body. No voice. Nothing. It was as if this was more of a vision than a night mare.

The guy suddenly let out a terrifying laugh, it seemed to echo in the dream. He said something that he didn't quite catch. Without warning the younger man was forced onto the floor, the older ontop of him. "N-no please!" He begged "Not this again. . please. ." there was a scream, it was a word actually. "HELLLP"

Shizuo suddenly jolted awake, Izaya's scream still ringing in his ears. His eyes were wide yet unseeing or observing. After calming down just the slightest he realized that he was in shinra's house. Beside him in a chair was the underground doctor himself. "Shizuo! Your awake! Finally" he said, standing up. "what happened?" the ex-bartender grumbled, sitting up. "I sent celty to go find you since you forgot your cell phone here and she found you passed out on the side walk. Honestly." Shinra said, checking the machines that were currently hooked up to Shizuo. "im very surprised you're even alive. You had one of the worst fevers I have ever come across. If you were a normal human, you would have died." He explained. Looking at Shizuo. The blond was silent, he wasn't exactly listening to what Shinra was saying instead he was focused on the dream. . .and Izaya's voice. It was such a haunting noise

_HELLLPPPP_

no matter what he tried. . .the voice wouldn't fade from his mind.

* * *

**Sugar: neh. this didnt turn out as good as i wanted it to. but hey, im trying. i'll try to upload every day, but if i dont. please done kill me! i have school and my Studies and what not. and again, thanks for reading guys 3**


	4. the dream haunts a new face?

**Sugar: im soooooooooooo sorry i didnt upload the other day, i barely got to write D: sorry guys.**

**I dont own durarara.**

* * *

_Help. . . _

His voice had came sounding so desperate and pitiful. Although the change in tone, Shizuo could tell completely who this person was. It was Izaya. but the way Izaya sounded. .the way he had begged and begged for mercy made shizuo's blood run cold. He had never head Izaya beg, ever and he never expected to.

It was such a horrible sound. He had sounded completely pitiful, so much that even Shizuo felt horrible. All he wanted to do was end the boy's suffering, even if It was his enemy's pain and suffering.

He had gotten so into his thinking, that he hadn't noticed that Shinra had injected him with some type of fluid. "The fever isn't gone for good but this'll keep it down." He said, patting the freshly made wound with a cotton ball. "Also" he said, putting a simple bandage on it. "I don't recommend going to work today Shizuo, im not sure how your body will react to the drug and-" he was once again cut off by Shizuo. "Shrina"  
"Yes?"

"Shut up.

He wasn't a harsh and cold as he was before, he just wanted shrina to shut up. He knew the under ground doctor well, he knew that if he didn't tellhim to stop talking, he would go on. . and on. . and on. . and on.

The blonde stood up and grabbed his clothes, apparently Shinra had stripped him in his sleep. Probably to reduce the fever. . .but even so . .

Ew. . .

Even the thought of Shinra seeing him naked, let alone stripping him was enough to make him sick to his stomach. He wasn't a homophobe, oh no. he wasn't. But still, the thought of another man touching him and taking his clothes off just creeped him out. He was 100% sure he was completely straight. . . Not to mention. . .IT WAS SHINRA. He quickly slipped his clothes on, not really carring that he had wore them yesterday. "Im not going to work" he said, walking to the door way "Im going to go find Izaya" "Shizuo. Don't hurt him! He's probably already in bad condition already!" he said frantically.

"I don't plan on hurting him,"

Shinra was completely dumbfounded, not only was Shizuo going to find Izaya but he wasn't bent on hurting him either. "Im going to find him, and im going to find how whats going on" "You really believe he'll tell you?" "No. but I always have plan B." "Oh god"

With that, he left, leaving the worried doctor to wait.

The fake blonde walked down the street and sighed , he scanned the streets for any type of sign of the flea. But to his demise there was no trace of him. He continued this for almost 2 hours, but still no avail. How annoying, the one time he actually wanted to find the pest, he was no where to be found.

He was about to let out a growl like he did when he was annoyed, but his stomach beat him to it. He sighed remembering that he hadn't eaten since yesterday, during lunch. _Ugh_

He sighed, he might as well get something to eat, there was no use starving himself, he was lucky it wasn't summer, by this point he would have passed out. Considering the mixture of elements, heat, not eating, barely any rest, and running around. He silently thanked what ever god he didn't believe in that it was winter already. He let out a soft breath and headed to Russia sushi, sure he could have gone to some where with better food. But Russia sushi wasn't just closer, it tasted better as well . . well most of the time anyways. He stretched, the restaurant was in view by this point. Apparently he walked fast, faster than he thought anyways. Simon as usual was outside the shop, trying to attract customers. When he saw the ex bartender he seemed a bit distressed. " ." simon shook his head "No sushi today." He said in broken Japanese. Shizuo gave him a funny look, he would always attract customers whether they had sushi or not. Not only that but people walked in and out of the shop freely without simon stopping them.

Shizuo rolled his honey colored eyes and pushed past Simon and walked into the shop. Taking off his shades and placing them in a pocket of his uniform type outfit, he noticed something off about the place. It was mostly vacant. _Odd. . _

He shrugged it off, he didn't like being in places that had way too many people anyways. Soon enough he ordered his food and sat down at a booth. He placed his elbows on the table, holding his head and closing his eyes. The memory of the dream, it seemed a lot more fuzzy than before. Great. He frowned a bit, trying hard to remember what happened and how thatb man looked like. Damn. The only memory that was clear was izaya's scream for help. A shudder ran through the man, the scream echoing in his memory. God. What a terrifying sound, no matter how fuzzy the dream got, his scream of agony and terror was always clear. Always

Something snapped him out of his thoughts- a voice. "Are you lying Izaya?!" the voice snapped, it wasn't loud considering they were in a restaurant, but it was loud enough for Shizuo to catch. The fake blonde froze at the sound of the name Izaya. His golden-ish eyes opened slowly and raised his head, sitting up.

"Im not. . ." came a meek reply. It was Izaya's voice. He knew that for a fact. He slowly turned to the voices, in a booth not too far away, sat Izaya who had his back facing him and another guy, around his age, he had dark sapphire eyes, his hair a bit lighter shade and markings on the side of his face, they were elegant black swirls that framed the side of his face. "Liar" he snarled.

Shizuo stared, the man was so familiar, oh so familiar but where was he from?

* * *

**Sugar: ehehe, meh OC ;3 i only own him. now. :U if i can get 10 reviews more, i will totally put up a longer chapter Nao. spread the news of mah story loviesssssss**


	5. Abuse

**Sugar: Im sooooooooo sooooo sorry for not updating for so long! I've been having alot of things going on right now, and havent been able to really check my fanfiction D: forgive meeeeee? and I wanted to thank the people who actually reviewed this time 3 **

**A special thanks to animecraze409 ^^ You've been following every chapter i've posted and i thank you for that, reviews are honestly the thing that keeps me going, considering it makes me know im not writing for nothing :D thank you, all of the people who review. you guys are amazzzinnnnnnggg! 3**

* * *

"I. . .i wouldn't lie" he said, seeming a bit desperate- WOAH WOAH WOAH. Izaya?! desperate? It was one thing for him to sound so pitiful in his dream but in real life?! This was shocking, completely shocking. The raven's voice carried no snarky-ness or sarcasm, it was as if he was a completely different person. He looked his head frantically "No. not to you. . not about that!"

The blue haired man looked at Izaya for a moment then leaned over, kissing the informant gently. "Good" he said, sitting back. Shizuo blinked in shock, did. . .did he just kiss the flea!? Yes, there was no mistaking it, there was something between the two.

"You better never lie to me Izaya, or trust me, I'll make you regret it" he said and gave a soft smile, but the blonde could see through his mask of lies, under it he was planning something. A growl rose in his chest, but he pushed it down. This guy was pissing him off and fast.

He suddenly stood, "Well, Izaya" he said, "I have to go" a slight smirk was on his pale face. "I'll see you tomorrow night okay?" the raven gave a slight nod. Shizuo stood, his body honestly working on its own. He started to walk to Izaya, the blue haired man passed, but not without a few words. "He's mine, stay away" he hissed in shizuo's ear then simply walked out the door. He turned and watched as he left, so Izaya was his eh? Well then.

For some reason the man's words ticked him off greatly, he twitched and walked to the booth Izaya was in. without a word he sat at the booth, across from the raven haired informant. Izaya quickly looked up a bit startled at someone else's but the man's presence. His red-ish brown eyes widened in surprise, obviously not expecting to see Shizuo. "Shizu-chan?" he asked, a cocky smile forming on his face. "Well well, what do we have here?" he let out a giggle, "Is Shizu-chan here Alone?"

"cut the crap flea." He practically snarled. Izaya blinked, his smirk faltering a bit. "What are you talking about Shizu-chan?" the fake blonde twitched, his cluelessness was really starting to get on his nerves.

"That guy. Who is he?" Shizuo asked, straight forward. Izaya blinked "Wha?" "That guy who was just here?" he asked. "What does it matter to you?" The flea asked, seeming to get a bit more defensive in place of his sarcastic-ness. His smirk suddenly grew larger "Aw, is Shizu-chan jealous?" he purred.

The ex-bartender felt his cheeks heat up-wait, was he really blushing because of the flea. No! Of course not, he let out an annoyed growl "No . ." he shook his head "But I do want to know why you've been acting so off lately, Shinra wants to know too."

"im fine" "Don't give me that shit" he snarled, "I know something's up." Izaya was utterly silence for what seemed like hours. ". .He's my boyfriend okay." He said softly, his gaze not meeting Shizuo's "Nothing to it." This didn't surprise Shizuo as much as you'd think, then again he did see them kiss.

Shizuo stood up, the raven stared up at him. Without warning the informant was yanked up and out of his seat. Hastily he slammed money on the table "lets go." He said simply and started to drag Izaya out of the restaurant. "W-wait! Where are we going!?" he got no response as he was led down the street by the larger male. Where was he taking him? Only Shizuo knew that, after a while of asking questions and receiving no answers Izaya finally gave up and simply let Shizuo led him to where ever he was heading to. The trip became a silent one, all Izaya could feel is awkwardness and uncertainty.

Soon enough they reached a building, Shizuo led him inside- it was an apartment. Shizuo's to be exact. He led him to the bed room, pushing him onto the bed so he was sitting. The Information broker looked around, pretty curious to where he was. "Undress. Now" Shizuo suddenly said. Izaya froze, a dark blush spreading across his face, the command completely catching him off guard. "W-what!?" He managed to get out, looking at the blond, his face still that deep crimson. "I said. Undress." Shizuo said, his arms crossed.

He honestly didn't know what to do. Shizu-chan, his worst enemy just told him to strip. Was he going to do it? Quite possibly, but then something popped into his head, the blue haired man, he couldn't betray him. No, he refused to! He shook his head, looking up at shizu-chan awkwardly. "No." the blond rolled his eyes in annoyance and grabbed Izaya, unzipping his jacket and taking it off. "Looks like I'll have to do it for you" he half said and half growled. Izaya tried to pull away but ended up being pinned down by shizu-chan's weight. "Shizu-chan! Wait!' Izaya hissed, struggling and squirming as his shirt was pulled off.

Shizuo paid no attention to the man's pleas for him to stop. His struggling and squirming barely interfered, this was one of the times he actually was grateful for his inhuman strength. He soon pulled his pants off, leaving the informant only in his boxers. He then pulled back, not touching Izaya.

Izaya stared at the bodyguard, his red-ish brown eyes huge and filled with an emotion Shizuo didn't even think the flea was capable of. It was fear. He was frozen in place, staring at Shizuo in terror.

He was silent for some time, his eyes scanning the informants pale form. His skin had almost no flaws- well. . that was if you looked beyond all the bruises and cuts. Oh yes, there was so many bruises.

Dark purple-ish and brownish black marks decorated izaya's pale smooth skin, there were more than Shizuo could count. Next to the bruises there were angry red marks, as if someone had dug their nails into him and slowly made a deep scratch. There were bite marks as well, and fresh bruises just starting to form. The informant tried to cover the marks but ultimately failed, there were too many to hide.

There was a long silence before Shizuo finally spoke up. ". . Izaya" he said, his voice way softer than he had ever spoken to the raven in.

". . . "

"He's Abusing you, isn't he?"

* * *

**Sugar: ^ thats it for this chapter :3 things are finally getting interesting ne?**


	6. cuts

**Sugar: first off im really sorry i havent updated in a while, i've been really depressed lately, its also why this chapter is so short. i havent been able to really bring myself to write, hopefully this'll pass and i can post longer chapters. and one last thing to Rai Rai Blue(everyone else you dont have to read this, im just putting it here because she doesnt have a fanfiction account i can message)**

**Im thankful you've even reviewed once and dont be sorry, XD it'd take alot to make me stop writing completely ^^ thanks once again for all your support.**

* * *

A long silence filled the air between the two. Izaya sat there still just in his boxers, the larger male glowering down at him.

The informant shifted awkwardly. "Don't ignore my question flea" Shizuo more or less growled, but his tone was a hell a lot softer than he had ever used toward the raven. Still no avail, Izaya didn't answer- infact, he wasn't even facing toward the fake blond twitched, trying oh so hard to control his anger, he knew that getting violent in this situation would do more damage than good. He was about to say something else when Izaya cut him off

". . .No." he said "I did this myself."

_Liar_

Shizuo felt something snap inside him, the rage boiling over. He slammed Izaya onto the bed, pinning the half naked informant to the bed. Izaya stared up at him in fear and terror, his red-ish brown eyes huge. Shizuo locked their gazes, "YOU. YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF?!" he snarled, his voice raised. He couldn't possibly begin to explain the rage and anger he was feeling. "You would never. . ." he said, his voice getting softer as he went on "manage to give yourself. . .all these cuts. ..these bruises." He said, his voice suddenly at a murmur. He stared down at the smaller male, his expression unreadable. "you wouldn't do this to yourself Izaya. . .You're low. . .but not this low" he said softly.

Shizuo hated this. Seeing the flea like this. . . .Seeing** HIS** flea like this. The sight made something twinge inside him. Where had the snarky, sarcastic Izaya gone? He was completely different now. He barely fought back or spoke back either.

Something caught shizuo's gaze. His eyes flicked to izaya's hands, which he was pinning with his own. His eyes widened in horror as he saw slashes decorating izaya's wrists, going up to his elbows. The scars were done precisely, he had obviously done this before. Cuts were ontop of cuts, healed ones now split open again both arms were like this. He turned his own gaze back to Izaya, he was looking away, utterly silent. A solemn look plastered on his face, as if he was trying to do a poker face.

"Izaya. . why are you doing this. . ?" he said softly, by this point he was completely worried for his well being. What an odd thought. . .Shizuo, actually worried about Izaya?

Izaya didn't answer, maybe it was perhaps it was because he didn't have one, at least not one he could explain. ". . .Why do you care?" Izaya answered his question with another question

Then it occurred to him

Why did he care?

Why should he?

Izaya had always been his enemy

Always.

So. . .why now?

Why did he start caring now?

The answer escaped him. He swallowed, "Why wouldn't I be worried? Your being abused and your inflicting harm upon yourself." Izaya sighed, "You've hated me from day one, why should you care if im being hurt?" fuck. All these questions and he had practically no answers. "That doesn't matter."

There was another long silence between the two before Izaya spoke.

"get off of me." He suddenly said. "I have somewhere to be. Get off." Shizuo looked at him, the informant's face was void of emotion. Slowly and hesitantly he moved off.

Izaya sat up and then stood, picking up all his clothes and putting them back on. ". . .Stay away from him" he said, walking past Shizuo "Or I'll make you regret it" he hissed, it seemed that the moment had lasted for hours but in all honesty it was only a few seconds, in moments Izaya was gone the only remints of his visit was shizuo's memories.

Slowly he pulled out his phone, sitting on the bed and dialing shinra's number.

"hello?"

"I think he's being abused.

. . .

* * *

**sugar: The next chapter will be an insider on izaya's point of view, considering we've been following shizuo around for quite some time. and im sure you wanna know who and what the blue haired man is. :3 i look forward to writing this chapter Nyahahaha**


	7. The Agony(redone)

**Sugar: nii! i had my friend edit this chapter for me and MY GOD it turned out so much better! thank you so much tay, i love you 3**

* * *

Two forms lay in the bed together, the air thick with tension from forgotten lust. One of the figures was large, indeed, taking up most of the bed with his form. The other one, curled slightly into his chest, was a smaller silhouette against him. The sound of soft pants filled the room, but other then that, there was no intruding noise. The smaller form seemed to make no movement at all, as if it was afraid.

Afraid of the larger.

Yet, he relaxed as soon as the other's breathing deepened, A tell-tale sign of falling asleep. The silence was soothing, so much more so than screams of agony and yells of pain.

The boy examined the sleeping figure beside him, his chest rising and falling with every breath.

... Well, the one who he USED To trust.

"Dante?" he whispered softly.

No response. Not even a snore.

The raven slowly slipped from the bed, being cautious, as if not to make any noise. He scanned the room for his forgotten clothes, but to his dismay, he could not find them. And very well so. It was pitch black in the room, there was no use looking in the dark. Yet, he didn't dare turn the lights on. He fear of waking Dante. And if he waked Dante...

He shivered at the cool air around him, but stubbornly ignored it, and slowly headed to the bathroom. Oh the pain... the god forsaken, terrible pain... it hurt so much...just to walk. So. fucking. much

He was still sore from that familiar ripping sensation.

... Then again, he never had time to let the soreness go away, to let the wounds of his shattered pride heal. For you see, this was all a sick routine, a nightly ritual, if you will. Every night, every damned night, Dante would come, and fuck him senseless.

And yet. It wasn't really sex. . .

It... was rape. Pure. Rape.

He didn't want this, he didn't want this at ALL. He hated being alone, but yet, on the same token, he hated being abused and raped, every night, by this... disguising fool. When he had first met Dante, he was completely amazing. Everything he would ever want. He was sweet and kind, loving, forgiving, and by what he'd seen, he wouldn't hurt a fly! But alas. . .after a few weeks into their relationship, things took a turn for the worst. It started slowly at first, small slaps and commands every so often, the occasional push and punch. Harsh words were exchanged sometimes, to be forgiven by hugs and whispered nothings. Deep down, however, he blamed himself. He figured he probably deserved it, he had probably said or done something wrong... and had angered Dante. He would never want to anger him, so he took the punishment with sealed lips. But the worst was on its way, and it was brought after a significant event. He remembered it clearly, because it haunted him day and night. .

Izaya was home, typing away on the computer. He always remembered the comforting screen, the familiar feeling of the keys on his fingers. Or course, he was simply collecting some information about a few things that Shiki needed info on. Namie wasn't there either; he had given her the day off, knowing that he had no work for her. Sure, He could just go and make her life harder by telling her to clean... But he was too tired for that, he just wanted to get his work done as quickly as possible, and then sleep. Besides, she needed a brake sometime, right?

...Nah, his subconscious decided. She just got lucky.

His fingers danced over the key board in a steady rhythm, every so often straying over to the mouse. He was so focused on the screen, that he didn't hear someone enter. He didn't catch the faint sound of silent footsteps. The only sound in the room was the clicking of the keys.

"A lot of work tonight?" Someone broke through the thick silence, interrupting the hypnotizing rhythm. Izaya jumped at the voice, turning around in his chair to face the person. His expression went from cautious to happy within mere seconds on seeing the familiar face. "Oh! Dante, you're home early." A Grin graced his features, he wasn't expecting the blue haired man until later. He smiled, a simple 'Mmmhm' was his response. "...I'll be done with my work in a bit, and then we can do something. Okay?" he said, giving a slight nod, before turning back to the computer screen. However, Before he could even begin to type, Dante pulled the chair back, rolling it backwards. A Annoyed expression crossed Izaya's face, furious at this little prank. "Dante I have to get to wo-"

"...Just finish It later" The taller said, his voice a guttural growl. It was more of a command than anything.

However, Izaya was beginning to get used to this tone.

zaya sighed softly, and stood up to his full height. "Uch...Fine, I'll just tell Shiki that I'm not feeling well."

Dante smirked, clearly pleased in this change of events. "Good. . .now, love, come up these stairs, will you? I have a... 'surprise' for you." he chuckled, leaning down to the other's height and nipping the lobe of Izaya's ear. The smaller blushed and shivered lightly at this display of affection. "Alright, Alright . . . just let me save a few files on my computer, okay?" He murmured absently, and went to his computer to close the research. Dante strolled casually up the stairs to Izaya's room. After he left, Izaya felt a pang in the pit of his stomach. He had a bad feeling about this...

A very , very, VERY bad feeling.

Yet, he shrugged it off as mere nervousness and saved the files, finally closing the computer.

He walked up the stairs, the feeling getting heavier and heavier, like a rock in his belly. Still, he tried to crush the petty annoyance... but still no luck.

Ugh. How annoying.

When he reached the final stair, there was pure, unwavering silence. He thought nothing of it, for no one but himself lived there. Although, Dante did drop by quite a bit.

It was obviously out of affection. "

Dante?" he called, stepping into the vast room. He didn't have to look far, however, when a sound to his right was heard. He tensed up, as an arm wrapped around his waist, while a hand simultaneously clamped over his mouth with a iron grip. He was quickly pushed and pinned onto the bed with such brutal force, he had to gasp inwardly. Izaya stared up at his assaulter, his reddish brown eyes quickly widening in fright. But he visibly relaxed as soon as he realized it was simply Dante, playing some kind of prank. Dante chuckled playfully, and moved his hand from the raven's mouth to allow breathing, a smirk upon his own lips.

"Damn it, Dante!" Izaya gasped. "You scared the CRAP out of me!"

Deep down, he was quite annoyed at him. How dare he sneak attack him, and then grin like it was no big deal! His forming scowl was met with Dante's ever growing smirk.

"Ah... terribly sorry, my love. ." he purred, slowly kissed Izaya's neck. He squirmed slightly under the man, not liking to be pinned to the bed. Let alone, he was in no mood to be pleasured, after being shocked like that.

Dante paid no attention to his struggling, he stripped the smaller male of his jacket and shirt making him blush. Izaya noted, that his struggling caused Dante to frown, almost scowl at him. The raven haired boy faintly wondered why.

"Dante what are you eve-"

"...Shut. The fuck. up." Dante snapped, irritated. Even with the clear anger in his voice, he still found it suit to run a finger down the informant's chest. This made the younger shudder with confusion.

"... May I ask a question, 'Love?'" The word 'Love' was said with sarcasm. ". . .Who was that boy?" The blue haired man asked. His tone was almost... jealous.

"W-what?" Izaya asked, helplessly confused. He wasn't sure what he was talking about, let alone why he was acting like this.

Dante growled lowly, flexing the digit on his chest.

"The. Blond. Bitch. That you were with earlier." His voice was harsh. Izaya blinked, dumbfounded. Was... was he talking about Shizu-chan?

"...You mean Shizu-chan?" he asked, tilting his head.

"'Shizu-chan...'" Dante's voice was mocking. "Is HE the one I always see you with?" he growled, his blazing blue gaze directed on Izaya. He nodded, why was he so mad? There was nothing but hate between the two. NOTHING but hate.

"Well...I don't like it" he said, running his sharp nail down Izaya's chest, leaving a angry red mark in it's wake. He winced slightly at the sharp pain. ". . .I don't like the way he looks at you." Dante's eyes narrowed. "...And. I sure as hell, don't like the way YOU look at HIM!" He spat, voice laced with venom. Wait one minute... was Dante jealous of Shizu-chan? He was jealous of the one person Izaya hated, hate wasn't a even strong enough word to describe what the informant felt.

"Dante, you don't kn-" Yet again, he was cut off by Dante and his rage. He grabbed Izaya's jaw roughly in his hand, and tilted his head up to him. "...You're mine. And mine only, Izaya" he growled. "...And I'll do... Anything. To make you remember it"

A Sharp stab of fear ran though his entire body, as Dante quickly unbuttoned and unzipped his pants, yanking them roughly off of him. A blast of cold air hit his upper body, making him shudder uncomfortably. He had little time to react to the feeling, because as soon as the articles were discarded to the floor, the taller male was pawing at his shirt, fiddling with the buttons, before giving up and just yanking it off him.

Damn.

That was his favorite one!

But he had little time to dwell on this fact. Soon enough both males were completely bare. He hadn't seen Dante pawing at his own clothes, he was too focused on the ripped shirt. When he looked back Izaya's eyes were wide in fear, seeing the other man's leering grin.

..God.

He should have listened to the feeling before.

He shouldn't have gone up...

He should have ran away as soon as he felt it.

Apparently, it was no time for self- pity. There was a sensation of falling as he was was roughly shoved to the bed. As soon as his back hit the canvas, Dante put both of his hands by Izaya's head. The older jumped on the bed, and positioned himself on top of the younger.

... Good lord.

HOW THE FUCK CAN ANYONE BE THAT FLIPPING HUGE?

Now, he was truly and utterly frightened.

"D-Dante. . .Please... don't do- GAH!"

His words were cut off by a shriek, and this time,instead of being cut off by words... He was cut off by pain.

Horrible, agonizing pain.

Dante had unceremoniously forced himself inside, his sheer size... (And, the fact that Izaya was somewhat a virgin when it came to anal) didn't help that fact. He wasn't actually a virgin, of course, but he had always been dominate with every single human that he had ended up sleeping with.

Of course the relationships didn't last at all, they were just his fuck toys. Each one bringing him a new wave of pleasure, a new sensation.

But now it was HIM being used as the Fucktoy.

And he hated it.

He let out a yelp, for that was all he could muster- he was in shock from the overwhelming pain.

Dante wasted absolutely no time, whatsoever, he didn't let Izaya even begin to adjust to his size. Hell, he'd rather have him bleed all over the bed, mark proof on who was fucking him tonight. His thrusts started out violent and fast, ripping through his flesh with careless aim. Each movement was like a little piece of hell to Izaya, the boy screamed in agony with each painful thrust. He tried to struggle out of the horrid situation, but Dante was literally ON TOP of him, arms now pinned above his head. There was no breaking away at this point, Dante was far too strong.

His eyes welled up, tears threatened to spill over. He let out another scream as Dante bit into his neck , being anything but gentle at this point. It was almost like a horrid rhythm, a horrible cycle that only the fucking devil himself would enjoy watching.

Slam.

Slam.

Slam.

He just kept slamming into him without mercy.

The sounds of his own screams and Dante's grunts of pleasure combined into a horrible chorus. It made him want to be sick, It was all too much for him. This wasn't really happening, was it?! It had to be some sort of fucked up dream...

But when you're raped... everyone thinks that.

His throat soon was raw, it hurt too much to keep screaming. Was that blood? It was as if someone had took a entire sheet of sand paper, and rubbed his throat with it. He was also sobbing by this time, obviously, tears running down the sides of his face. It made a horrible sight to the compassionate person. Yet, Dante was far beyond caring by this point.

"G-god" Dante hissed in obvious pleasure. Just the fact that he was pleasuring him made him feel fucking sick. "...So fucking tight!" A snarl escaped from his lips, sounding like some sort of wild beast. His lustful eyes trained on Izaya. Oh yes, he was completely enjoying Izaya's pain and the fact that he was the sole person who inflicted it. It felt amazing, to know that he could reduce Izaya to this breaking point. The poor boy just let out another choked sound, unable to say much. But he knew this one thing. . .

Dante was in heaven.

Izaya was in Hell.

"Stop... Fuck, just... Stop!" The teary eyed raven begged. He didn't care about the strain on his throat from yelling anymore, he'd pay any price to get the other to cease this pain.

But Dante paid little mind to his said pleas. He just continued to brutally thrust his swollen member into the smaller's body, relishing the reaction. Not a moment after, Izaya's eyes widened as he felt something warm and wet release inside him.

Oh ...GOD. If he wanted to wake up at any point in this supposed dream, he silently wished it would be now.

The blue haired man grunted slightly, seemingly satisfied, and pulled out, releasing the information broker from his rough hold. The abused Izaya instantly flinched away from Dante, scrambing as far as he could to the other side of the bed, with what little strength he had left. He would later notice, as he disposed of his sheets, the disguising mix of crimson blood and white semen in the fabric.

Dante didn't seem to mind, however. He just picked up his clothes and got dressed again."I'll be back in a few days...Love." he said, chuckling darkly. There was a certain tone to his voice, almost arrogant and sarcastic. "...You'd better be a good boy... Or I'll make you regret it." He turned around and leaned over, giving a gentle kiss to Izaya. To which he yelped. He shook his head, patted the other's hair like a dog, and left without another word.

As soon as he heard the door shut for the final time that night, Izaya curled up on the bed, seeking comfort from his own two legs. He felt horrible.

No... horrible was a terrible understatement.

His backside hurt like hell, for one, pulsing with a throbbing sensation that made him flinch at first. Dante's seed was slowly leaking out of him, which just added on top of his humiliation. Such a disgusting and dirty feeling it was. The bite marks stung like hell, as if they were already infected.. He just wanted to curl up and go to sleep, to forget about this... hopefully even DIE.

. . .No, he wanted to wake up from this nightmare of reality. But he knew quite well by now, this was no nightmare.

There was no escaping the fact.

He. Just got. Raped.

Even though there was all these thoughts and emotions swirling around in his head there was one main thing his mind. One thing that was worse then getting raped...

He had been raped... by the one person he trusted

Izaya had never, ever trusted people easily.

And yet, he had trusted Dante fully. Obviosuly, or he would have never dated him. Why had he been so stupid?

"So... many... questions... but... Why. . ." that was the one sentence that stuck in his mind, before he gave in to the darkness.

~flash back over~

Izaya was now in the bathroom, the door was locked and he was seated on the floor. His knees pulled to his chest, just like on that night. It hurt, it always did.

Yes, but that position made him feel so much ...safer. As if he could curl up into a ball, and... disappear.

A shudder ran through him, he wasn't sure if it was from the memories, or from the coldness of the tile. Probably the former. Maybe the latter.

He swallowed down a knot in his throat, and blinked away the dwelling tears. No. Never again. He had promised himself that he wouldn't cry anymore, never give anyone the pleasure of seeing him cry, not even himself.

No matter what happens.

No matter what.

He shivered again, this time from the cold, he was sure. He made his mind wander away from Dante, and onto a different topic.

Shizu-chan

He had seemed so. . .upset, and worried. But why? Why him of all people. Why wasn't it Celty or Shinra? They were obvious choices for him. Shizu-chan hated him. And he hated Shizu-chan.

That's how it always worked.

But when they were in shizu-chan's house, it didn't seem so. It felt like the hate was all a disguise, all the hatred was just... a whole lie.

But how could it be?

Whatever.

It didn't matter, if Dante ever saw him with Shizu-chan he'd do something horrible. He knew it.

And it would be worse then rape.

...

Why was he thinking of Shizu-chan, again?

He frowned, pondering the question. Why Shizu-chan? The question made his head hurt, he quickly discarded that thought as well and stood, walking to the medicine cabinet. He opened it and looked through the bottles until he found the thing he was looking for. Not any pain killers...

But a Razor blade, sharpened recently. It glinted in the light.

And he picked it up.

He closed his eyes. He didn't really want to see this.

But, he slowly dragged the sharp edge along his skin, savoring the pain.

The self inflicted pain.

The pain that he had control of. Only he. He could control how much it hurt, or how much it didn't. He could control where the next wound would appear. He could control almost every aspect of it.

Something about the feeling of blood down his wrist was satisfying. Just a steady drip. Slowly carving a crimson river down his skin.

It was... comforting.

Cutting...

It was the only thing that made him feel like he was in control.

So... he cut.


	8. A night walkVery short sorry

**Gaaaaaaah I am so freakin sorry, This entire time i've had the worst writer's block EVER. and then i lost my motivation to write ;w; so that didn't help, i'm very sorry to leave you guys with such a small rushed chapter but this is all I have Now, i promise i'll make it up to you guys soon.(i already have future chapters planned out) I promise I'll upload another Chpater this week or next week ^w^ thanks for being patient 3 **

* * *

It had been a month since Shizuo had seen izaya, there was no trace of him anywhere, not ikebukuro Or even in had been too nervous to even step foot near izaya's house, I mean what would he have said? 'hey I'm here to interrogate you about being abused!'

Aha.

No.

That wouldn't go well

At all

Besides, He still couldn't answer izaya's question. That damned question, it had bugged him ever since the informant had asked them. Why him? Why wasn't he happy that someone was hurting Izaya? he had tried to hurt the flea countless times, trying to kill him. He should be thrilled, someone was doing it for him! Yet, he wasn't thrilled or happy. When he even so much as thought of someone hurting Izaya, a wave of rage, annoyance and a little something else washed over him. He had been getting this strange feeling, it was the urge to protect him. Protect Izaya.

He simply couldn't get the raven out of his mind! No matter what he'd be doing, no matter how hard he tried. He just kept drifting into his was getting quite annoying, not being able to have peace for more than a few seconds.

He had made a decision while stalking toward the park, the city was growing quieter and quieter and the lights were growing dimmer by the second. He had decided to find Izaya, find him and make him tell every single little detail about that man.

By this time it was later in the day, he had finished work and had been looking for Izaya for the last few hours. Ugh, any time he didn't want him to show up, there he'd be. But when he was actually wanted, he was no where to be found,How annoying.

He continued to stalk through the streets, it was quite cold tonight. His breath visible in the air, it swirled around, the white mist swirling in and out of itself, like a it faded away, just to be replaced by another breath of warm air.

Soon enough Shizuo reached his destination, he hadn't been in the park since that one night, almost a month ago. The night when he had first found Izaya. .

He sighed now trudging toward the fountain in the middle of the park. He hadn't been able to come here in a while, not since he saw Izaya. all his time was spent working or trying to find Izaya, so he had been practically neglecting this spot. He had his hands in his pockets, head down, eyes staring steadily at the floor. It seemed like it had been an hour walk to the fountain but in all reality it had only been a few minutes.

Out of the corner of his eye something caught his attention, a figure. . .

On the fountain edge sat a figure, it was hunched over, shivering a the cold. By looking closer he could tell that infact it was non other than the man that he had been looking for. . Izaya.

He hesitantly walked toward him, not knowing what he would say to him but he knew he had to seize the opportunity. The raven looked up quickly at the sound of rapidly approaching foot steps.  
"Izaya."

The informant's eyes stared up at Shizuo terrified for a moment before standing up, he was obviously trying to get away but Shizuo grabbed his arm and yanked him back. "where do you think you're going?"

The flea seemed to flinch as Shizuo grabbed him. "You're coming with me" he saidm starting to to drag him toward his house. Weakly he struggled. "N-No! stop Shizu-chan!" he nearly screamed. The fake blonde turned to him, The once cocky and snarkly sarcastic face of Izaya was now twisted in total fear, it was the type of fear that people stared at Shizuo with. He should be used to it, but seeing it on izaya's face. . it was so shocking. "P-Please. . .Shizuo. .L-let me go" The fact that he had even used Shizuo's actual name instead of that agitating nic name had stunned him.

Slowly, he released Izaya from his death hold. ". . .Meet me at Shinra's At 10pm tonight. Be there or I'll come and find you and make sure you'll regret blowing me off."

* * *

**Nhgggg Nothing really happened in this chapter, go head and hate on me ;w; I deserve it, i promise the next chapter will be better ^w^ bare with me guys!**


	9. Late

**I've finally gotten my motivation back! WOOO i'm sorry i didn't post when i said i would, my thanksgiving break was kinda chaotic, how was yours? Anyways. thanks for the reviews on my previous chapter ^w^ i really love getting reviews and comments on my works, it helps me improve and gives me alot more motivation. anyways Enjoy 3**

* * *

Shizuo drummed his fingers on the table, his head propped up by his other hand. He let out an impatient growl, how dare he? How dare Izaya actually decide NOT to show up?! It was almost 10:30pm and still no sign of that fucking flea!

That inconsiderate, selfish brat! The brute could feel the rage boiling inside him like water on a stove, small at first then almost exploding from the container. He could understand being late maybe 5 for five minutes, but THIRTY FUCKING MINUTES?! That was way too long.

Shinra was a good distance from the fake blond, Even though he was a doctor he knew any damage Shizuo did to him would probably be permanent. . and fatal.

He didn't understand WHY it had to be HIS house they had to meet at, I mean couldn't it have been at Tom's or something. .? Eh. Probably not. Izaya was well paid, so he knew he could have him pay for any of the damages the duo might make.

Shizuo looked like he would blow at any minute, the underground doctor resisted the urge to run the hell away and hide, but he knew he had to stay just in case Izaya ended up coming.

Another thirty minutes passed, Shinra was honestly surprised Shizuo hadn't torn his entire apartment apart. Instead he was totally silent, the air around them not filled with tension any more, but another feeling. . it was disappointment, which was strange because Shizuo hated Izaya. right?

Shizuo was staring at the clock, his face void of emotion. It was now 11pm, and no sign of Izaya, not a call, a message a text. Nothing.

He let out a sigh of defeat and stood, assuming that he wasn't going to show up. At that moment something happened.

The sound of the bell.

Shinra's eyes widened as he hear the chime of the doorbell, something that made both men freeze. It was unexpected of course, considering the both of them doubted that the informant would actually show after being late for an entire hour.

he hesitated at first, unsure if he should answer it, not knowing if Shizuo was going to himself. But the body guard stayed put, a scowl on his face. He heard a low mutter come from the man, something about tearing Izaya apart for being so damn late.

Shinra soon got up and headed to the door, what had taken him so long? Sure Izaya lived in Shinjuku but he had been given notice hours ahead so there was almost no excuse to be THIS late. Pushing aside his thoughts he opened the door, sure as hell There was Izaya. He was standing a bit awkwardly, almost in a painful way. His usual aura that consisted of confidence and smugness was gone, as if it had never existed. It was so odd. . .seeing him liken this. It was as if. . .he was broken.

Another thing that stood out was the way he was dressed. His attire was as if it was summer and the sun was shining brightly. He was dressed in nothing more than a light tee shirt and pants, he didn't even have a pair of shoes. The underground doctor was quite surprised at this, considering the raven usually sported that fur trim jacket of his, that and frost clung to the windows and the air was icy. Why would anyone in their right mind be dressed so lightly in this weather?!

The doctor opened the door wider for him to step in. The raven hesitated a bit before walking inside, just from these small movements Shinra could detect traces of pain in the informant. It was the stiffness of his motions, they looked pained and anything but swift.

He closed the door and locked it after he was in, within further inspection Shinra noticed things that stunned him. Not only the clothes and the pained movements, but his Pale smooth skin was littered with bruises and small cuts, even a few bite marks on his neck. His face looked sunken and sullen, like all the cockiness, sarcasm and even humor never even existed on his face.

It was as if he was a totally different person.

The raven stayed there for a moment as if he was scared to move. Seeing that Izaya wasn't planning on moving on his own, Shinra headed back to the dining room where Shizuo was waiting.

He followed, as if he was scared to be alone, like a child clinging to his mother's skirt. Those same painful movements following. The blond brute looked up, his honey colored eyes almost void of emotion. "So you decided to actually show up eh?"

The raven's eyes stayed glued to the floor, not even signifying that he heard Shizuo. "Answer me flea!" He growled. Shinra frowned "Shizuo This isn't the time for that."

"come on," he said and walked to the living room. Shizuo watched almost in awe as Izaya followed him without a word, he watched the stiff and strained movements. The way how he walked carefully, almost as if to make no sound at all. It wasn't just the way he walked but the way he looked, even the aura around seemed. . .different.

After both men were in the room, the bodyguard sighed gruffly and stood up. He found no use in sitting there, he wanted to find out why exactly Izaya was still with that fool. As swiftly as he could the blond walked to the living room, Shinra and Izaya were already seated, speaking.

Well, Actually Shinra was more on the lines of interrogating the informant, who kept his forearms pressed close to his body. Of course Shizuo knew why, He lingered in the door way, listening to shinra's questions.

The informants gaze didn't even look at either men, it just rested on the ground, his face almost totally empty of emotion. It was so odd seeing him this way, Shizuo couldn't stop thinking about that.

Earlier, he didn't seem this. . .bad, but it must have been because of how dark it was getting.

"Izaya, I want to do a check up." These words snapped Shizuo out of his thoughts. It seemed to do the same to the raven haired informant. His brownish red eyes flicked to Shinra nervously, "w-what kind of check up. .?" he asked in a nervous manner. "I just want to check a few things on your body. . .Weight, height. . .things like that" Shinra murmured in thought. He knew he'd have to trick Izaya into that, there was no way he'd volunteer willingly.

There was a small pause before Izaya nodded. "alright. ."


	10. secrets, secrets secrets

**IMPORTANT NOTE: hey guys there might not be an update too soon, the reason this took so long is because my s button on my computer broke. and i had to use a mix of regular keyboard and onscreen keyboard, as you can assume just typing this note takes a while eAe so yeah, also the reason its so short, i'm sending in my computer to be fixed soon, so no worries, we'll see if i can upload stuff from my bro'ipad w; anyway enjoy~**

* * *

Izaya froze as Shinra's words snapped him out of the trans he had been in.

"I want to do a check up"

Usually this wouldn't scare him at all. He wasn't scared of doctors, never had he been. But this was different, if Shinra saw the bruises, the scratches and the cum drenched boxers, he knew Shinra would piece it all together. All of these things literally screamed rape.

Before the informant could even think of something to get around the question, he realized he had already answered.

"Alright. ."

Izaya froze at his own words, he felt the terror wash over him. Oh god. This was it, He couldn't hide anything anymore.

Shrina stood and started walking to another room "come." He said simply, walking into the room. It took a few moments for the raven to finally stand, trying not to show his stiffness. He slowly walked to the room, trying desperately to ignore the honey colored eyes that watched every movement to the room.

Soon enough he finally walked in, Shinra shut the door. "I need you to strip," He inwardly flinched at the command but knew he ultimately had to do it. Shinra would never hurt him, right? He was just a doctor.

Hesitantly he slowly pulled off his clothes, stripping down into his boxers. He refused to go any further.

Shinra stared in horror at what he was seeing, Izaya's usual pale, lush and smooth skin was littered with angry red scratches, horrible dark bruises, and vicious looking bite marks. His ribs showed through his skin so much that it made him look like a walking skeleton, his forearms had cuts on top of cuts, they reached almost well past his elbow. Another thing stood out to the underground doctor, on izaya's boxers there were patches of some type of fluid.

The doctor froze in place as all these things locked into place and the picture became clear.

"I-Izaya. . "

The informant didn't respond to him, instead his sunken and sullen eyes focused on the floor. He knew what would happen now, Shinra would tell Shizuo, and Shizuo would tell everyone in ikebukuro. Izaya would become a fool.

God.

How had he become so. . .so weak?!

He was looking like one of his precious humans, being used by others, controlled so easily. How had the great demi god Izaya fall to this standard? The thought and fact of it made him feel utterly sick.

Meanwhile, Shizuo Waited outside, sitting on the couch. _The way he moved, it was so pained. He looked like a total mess. . .and his expression. .his eyes. . .they were so. . Dull. _

Shizuo frowned deeply, yes, he hated Izaya, but no one should have to go through what he was going through now. No matter how low the being was, no one should be treated that way.

Something twinged inside of him as he thought of Izaya being abused, being belittled. It made him pissed beyond belief. Who ever this sick bastard was, he'd kill him. He promised himself he'd hunt the fucker down and break every bone in his body.

He impatiently drummed his fingers on the couch, waiting for the moment Shinra and Izaya would come out.

Hours seemed to pass slowly before the door opened and Shinra stepped out, the raven haired informant followed him meekly. Shinra said nothing as he walked into another room, Izaya still following.

The blond brute cocked his head, listening to the soft mutters that came from behind closed doors. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't seem to make out what the two men were saying, the voices were too soft. Especially izaya's.

About 10 minutes passed before Shinra stepped out again, this time alone. "Well?" Shizuo asked, seeming to be annoyed. He had been waiting for almost 2 hours, and no answers at all. "well, you were right about the abuse. ." Shinra began, something hidden away in those dark eyes of his. A secret, he knew he couldn't tell Shizuo.


	11. Dante (corrected)

**gahhhh I am soooooo sorry, it was late and I guess I screwed it up. Stupid me Anywhoooooo here's the REAL chapter (I wonder what happened to the other one. . O.o) **

* * *

The Streets were empty, almost completely vacant. Not a running car on the street. No one walked about except one man, it was non other than shizuo,the blond was walking hands in his pockets. Even though it was night time the brute still sported those sunglasses. He didn't seem to be bothered by the silence of the street. In fact. He even seemed to enjoy it.

The figure that awaited on top of a tall building took note of how he had let down his guard considerably, not completely but his movements weren't as cautious. A smirk spread over the blue-haired man's face as he watched the other simply walk, completely unknowing of the figure that loomed above him.

The smirk he wore was devious, his eyes seemed to sparkle with something that was similar to malice . He waited, he waited until the blond was almost right underneath him. That's when he stepped off.

He stepped off the edge of the building without even hesitating.

Instead of the sickening crunch that one would expect within impact, he simply landed with a soft tap. He had landed as if he had simply stepped off nothing more than a chair.

Shizuo stopped,

he had felt the swish of cold air beside him, and was 100% sure it wasn't his doing. Swiftly he whipped around, not scared to face the person who was now behind him. Sapphire eyes bore into shizuo's own honey colored ones. How close the man was to him startled him a bit. "what the hell?!" he hissed, taken aback by the sudden presence. He took a step back to put some distance between himself and the blue haired man.

The guy laughed, amused by his reaction.

Almost instantly he realized who this was. The guy izaya had been with, an overwhelming sense of Anger washed over the brute.

This was him.

This was the bastard who was abusing izaya.

This was the bastard that was abusing HIS izaya.

The rage boiled within his core.

"YOU!" he snarled. The blue haired man smirked "hello shizuo" that same smirk plastered on his face. "it's about time we met correctly. . ." he extended his hand to the blond "my name is Dante hatanashi. And I'm here to end your life."


	12. Surprise

**PLEASE READ!: I am soooooo so so soooooo sorry for accidently reporting secrets secrets secrets. No I didnt do it because I hate you guys or want to tease you. When I uploaded it I guess something got all mixed up, anyway the real chapter 'Dante' is up the correct one. Again, I'm so sorry for the mix up. I hope this chapter makes up for it, from some comments I could tell you're looking forward to it. ;) I've added a bit of a surprise as well, and oh! In a few chapters the real shizaya will shine through. Thank you for reading this note, and your reviews as !**

* * *

Izaya sat on the bed, instead of feeling comforted by the darkness around him, the soft murmur the t.v from the living room. It scared him, he knew Dante would be furious upon finding out that izaya was gone. It terrified him.

He tried to shake the thought away but still it remained at the back of his mind. Dante could be here any minute. Furious as ever.

His anger didn't scare izaya at all actually, but it was what Dante would do to him was what scared the raven informant.

/sleep. . .just. . .just sleep./ he thought over and over to himself. /just sleep and pray you don't wake up./ he kept his eyes closed, willing sleep to wash over him. It was late, his body was bruised and violated. He should want to sleep right?

That's what he thought, but part of him still clung to that piece of terror. Finally, around 4 am the tired informant started to fall asleep. . .

Only to be awoken around five minutes later by Shinras voice. It came from the kitchen, by the tone he was using he could tell something was wrong.

Completely.

And utterly wrong.

The exhausted flea sat up. He listened closely to shines words. "who else could have done this celty?!" Shinra said. A pause

"you know very well that izaya's here. Besides. These wounds look a bit too.. .serious for something that izaya would do."

He blinked, so they were talking about him? And wounds? Wow we're the wounds on? Slowly he got up, wincing at the soreness. He ignored the pain and got out of bed, walking to the door. In the living room was as expected, celty and shinra. He looked at the duo "what happened?" he asked, staring a them. Celty 'looked' at the underground doctor, who then gave a small nod, then back to izaya. Quickly she typed something on her phone *Shizuo's been hurt. Badly, he's in the hospital now. In the intensive care unit*

The ravens eyes widened considerably. If it had been anyone else he wouldn't have been so. . .so shocked. if it had been Shinra or anyone else he knew he wouldnt have been surprised with all the gangs that ran around at night. But this was Shizu-chan we were talking about! The man who could take on an entire gang and still be standing. What in fuck's name could Have brought him down?

Something suddenly popped into his mind that made his blood run cold. . .could it have been him? No. . .no no. That was a stupid thought. . .t-totally stupid. He quickly, almost desperately shook the thought didn't want to think about that. Shinra shattered his thoughts "were owing to go see him."

"i'm coming" Izaya responded almost instantly.

He underground doctor seemed to be genuinely surprised by his words, "Izaya. .do you really think it wise to come. . .i don't think it's wise for you to start anything when He's in such a condition I-" Izaya cut him off. "I'm coming, whether you want me to or not."

Shinra let out a defeated sigh.

"fine but at least TRY not to Upset Shizuo," "alright" he knew it was futile, though. Anytime the bodyguard saw him instantly he flew into rage. . .

He shrugged mentally, hoping that Shizu-chan would be sleeping or unconscious. He just wanted to see the wounds and get out of there. Before Shizu-chan told him what happened, he wanted to know, but then again he feared the answer.

The raven shook the thoughts away, Shinra was grabbing his coat. "well were leaving is, so let's go" he blinked and nodded, he hadn't changed from those clothes he had arrived in. He bit his lip, remembering the coldness. He wished he had brought his jacket, but it was too risky to find it. Shinra tossed him a jacket, "you can borrow this, I don't want you to get pneumonia." he said as the raven simply nodded, putting on the jacket, secretly loving the warmth.

With that they headed out the door, into the car and off to the hospital. The informant was silent the entire ride, his thoughts swirling with all kinds of ideas. Within a matter of minutes they pulled into the parking lot. Surprisingly there was visiting hours right now.

Izaya barley took note of this though, more concerned about the wounds on his enemy. He was so anxious to see what they looked like, yet again he was terrified.

As they walked through the halls of he building, the informant couldn't help but lag behind. At this time of night the hospital was practically empty, but there was still a few nurses and doctors around. Soon enough the doctor turned into a room, inside was a figure on the bed, beside it was another person. Someone completely foreign to Izaya.

He was diffidently from another country, his hair a light brown, skin a pale shade. Izaya was very pale, paler than the boy by the bed. But there was a few things that screamed foreigner, he wore a dark brown, almost black shirt underneath a brown type of sweater, except the sleeves were short and stopped just above his elbows. He had simple light pink hat on that in black capital letters said something in English, after a moment of looking at it, he realized it said VANITY.

The guy looked over, he got up and walked to Shinra, who led him out, Celty following. This confused the raven. Hadn't they come to see Shizu-chan? Eh. Oh well. He shrugged it off and looked down at the man on the bed, he was asleep. One of his arms was broken, gashes and bruises littered is skin, almost. . .almost matching Izaya's complexion. He bit his lip as he stared down at the fake blond, could it really have been him? Who else could have taken down him? He thought numbly and reached down, brushing away a strand of his golden hair.

At that moment Shizuos eyes shot open, and instantly locked onto Izaya's gaze. The informant froze, not even moving his hand away. Shizuo stared up at him, Izaya expected him to suddenly snap and try to kill him. But instead, his honey colored eyes stared up at him with almost. . .a. . .gentle look to them. "Izaya. . ." he whispered.


	13. a command

**Not the longest chapter ever, but i have the next chapter all set up its one i've been waiting to do for a enjoy.**

The first things he took in when shizuo awoke was the feeling of being indoors, a sharp pain In his arm, and smaller pains here and there. That, and that there was someone beside him, he wasn't quite sure who though. And he wasn't willing to find out either.  
Instead he simply waited. What for? He wasn't sure.

He let his head fill with countless thoughts, mostly of what happened to him.  
His memory was cloudy and fuzzy. Like certain parts had been erased from his mind.

But there was one vivid scene in his head; it was before he passed out. It was of the blue haired man, Dante staring down at him. He had this twisted and sick grin on his face, every inch of his delicate face contorted into pure and utter insanity.  
The thought made him shudder.  
Was this what izaya had to deal with?  
Wait.

Why should be even care about the flea's wellbeing? He hated the idiot.  
This was a question shizuo struggled with constantly. He knew he shouldn't be concerned about him, but he couldn't help it. Ugh. How agitating.  
Maybe if he could actually get him away, life would resume to normal.  
The blond stifled a sigh and froze as he felt the person beside him get up, followed by other voices. though the person who was beside him left the room, he still wasnt alone. he could sense another presence.

who the hell is this now. . .? shizuo continued to 'play dead' as he felt the person's eyes on him. Without warning he felt a hand gently brush against his face. Automatically his honey colored eyes flashed open. only to meet brownish red eyes. A wave of surprise and confusion washed over shizuo, this was izaya right? Then why did he stared down with such a gentle gaze.  
". . izaya?" he whispered, his voice felt stiff and hoarse, as if he hadn't used it in a while. Wincing he tried to sit up "n-nnhg!"

"you honestly should sit still." came a voice, both men turned to the voice. it was the guy from before, he and shinra had probably finished talking. "you diffidently need to rest," he said, his brown and green eyes glinting in a cat like way.  
izaya twitched and moved away from the brute. "tch, im surprised you actually lost" he snickered, that smirk reappearing on his pale face after so long. the fake blond couldnt help but feel a small sense of relief, "actually." said the guy said, staring down at shizuo.

"im surprised you're even up yet." he said, walking to the duo, "the fact that you lost to Dante isnt surprising at all." izaya blinked in surprise as he heard his lover's name. "it honestly isnt." did he no know who he was talking to? this was the monster of ikebukuro!

Not some weak sap of a man!

Izaya felt himself staring at the teen, eyes narrowed. "and how do you even know him?" he tried to keep the rising anger from his voice. The boy twitched as he sensed the agitation in his tone. "I know Dante from way back." he muttered and was silent for a moment.

". . .shinra and I. . .we've agreed that both of you, need to leave ikebukuro and shinjuku" izaya froze, stunned by his words, "what?!" the thought of leaving the blue haired man was relieving yet stressful and painful at the same time. Though all the shit he had been through. . .he still thought Dante had some Type of reason for all of the abuse, surely deep down he loved izaya. . . Right?

He shook his head "I-I can't!" an annoyed sound came from the bed, "and why do I have to go?! I'm not the fucker who's dating this sick bastard," "yes, I know but you still have Connections to him." the blonde growled softly,His honey colored eyes narrowed. "god damn it flea." he snarled "see what you've done." izaya twitched "what I've done?! Tch." the boy watched the.

Both, eyes slightly amused. "anyway, I've already set up a house for both of you. Furnished and all" "where will we even be living?!" he shook his head

"I'm sorry I cannot say aloud." izaya stared at him, his eyes filled with distress "you sai HOUSE not houses!" the teenager nodded, "yes, you two will be living together until we get all of this sorted out.

The room suddenly went dead silent. It was as if neither of them breathed. Breaking the silence once more, he spoke "I'll give both of you today and tomorrow to get ready, meet me in front of shinras house. Oh. . "

he muttered, as he began to walk out of the hospital room, "and don't even think of fleeing,"


	14. My walls

Finally I've gotten all this down. Oi. I made shizuo's POV but it just wasn't written right. .anyway, sorry for the wait. I have been working on another fantiction, Teenage lust,I hope you guys'll read it. It's kinda like a sneak peek into how I write sex scenes. I know my Rape scenes aren't the best, but that's mostly because I find sex scenes readier to write since both parties want it. Anywho. I really really would appreciate it if you checked out Teenage lust for me. (I spent Days on it and. Really needs some love ;3;)

Edit: sorry, I had to take down this chapter. .-. Apparently it was 'terrible' According to SOMEONE. So I took it down and obeyed her majesty's wishes.

Anyway, again. All of my readers who follow the story and give positive feed back. Thank you so much, if you see any type of spelling error or grammatical error please PM me. Don't go out and flat out Insult my story because it hurts. A LOT. This is something that I love to do and love to improve on. Calling my works horrible is honestly heart breaking. I know the spelling and grammar isn't perfect. Please note that I am working on an iPad, I don't have an editor. And when I go to fix something the autocorrect makes it worse. I'll try my best to keep my writing a good quality.

To end on a positive note, thanks once again guys you're what makes me write. 3

* * *

A groan came from the room as Izaya sighed, flopping down on the bed, The white sheets having a soft glow in the sun's setting light. It gave a warm feeling to the bed, inviting and warm. But something else was on the informant's mind.

Ugh.

Why did HE have to go?

He was fine where he was. .

It wasn't like This wasn't anything he couldn't handle. Dante loved him. .and he would never go past anything he had done. . Right?

He signed, closing his eyes for a moment before glancing at two suit cases that we're bulging.

In the last hour, He had crammed almost every immediate thing he needed into two suitcases.

Toothbrushes, knives, clothes, toiletries, ect.

The guy from before had agreed to pick up all the furniture later. Which was a good thing, considering he had a few things he secretly treasured.

He sighed irritably as he kicked the suitcase with the end of his foot. Then a small flicker of amusement ran across Izaya's face. He could get a little enjoyment out of all of this. .

See, He was purposely being late, knowing that it would piss off Shizuo.

'oh shizu-chan. .how I love to anger you." he snickered as he imagined shizuo's rage filled face. Oh how it filled him with excitement! He knew very well how much the brute hated to wait. There was no mistaking that.

He let out a childish giggle at the thought. "ne. . .you'll be so mad shizu-chan." the man purred to no-one in particular.

He just found his rage. So every amusing.

Because ya know, a pissed off shizuo is completely amusing.

Of course he wouldn't make him wait more than twenty minutes, considering they'd be in a car for a pretty long time. To put it simply,

Confined pleases + Izaya +enraged Shizuo = horrible outcome.

He sighed and stretched, glancing a the clock

'Ah. . It's been about twenty minutes.' He gave a bored yawn, glancing at his bags again, they'd be a pain to carry to the train station.

"So.. .Izaya." A sudden voice broke the silence"what's with the suitcases?"

His entire body froze upon hearing the voice. Slowly, he sat up, facing the figure in the door.

There, as expected was Dante.

Part of his form was shadowed, from the orange light raining in. "u-uhm. . ." Izaya stuttered, shifting awkwardly.

There was no way in fucking hell he could tell Dante he was leaving.

He would probably be killed on the spot,

"I-I was going to take a small vacation. .i was going t-to tell you. . But you haven't been around. ." he lied.

Dante laughed, "you're leaving aren't you? With Haru." he said simply.

'Haru?' he blinked, assuming it was them an from before."What?" he asked, playing innocent. He hoped he could possibly get away with the ignorant act.

Dante snickered, starting to stalk toward the raven, who in return scrambled back onto the bed. Red eyes wide. He stared warily at the man before him. 'shit. . This is bad. .really. Really bad,'

"Oh. . .sweet izaya. ." He whispered, crawling onto the bed with the smaller man. His blazing blue eyes glinting in a cat like fashion.

By this time, Izaya was pressed against the headboard, his wide crimson eyes sparkling with fear

Slowly and almost in a loving fashion, Dante cupped Izaya's face with one hand. "You really think. ." Whispered the larger man, his hand slowly sliding into Izaya's soft hair." You can fool me. . "

Without warning he took a bunch of hair and pulled viscously. Earning a pained yelp from the human. Roughly he pinned the pale man to the bed, his sapphire eyes blazing. "I'll make you regret ever thinking of it." He whispered harshly, biting his ear lobe hard. Which would have been a sign of affection if it wasnt so god damn hard, the shock and pain causing izaya to yell again. His eyes shut tightly.

'I shouldn't have waited, oh god. . '

He didn't even need to see what was happening to know what would be happening in a few moments. He knew oh too we'll.

He squeezed his eyes tighter as he felt is clothes practically ripped off of his body. "I'll fucking show you brat," he heard Dante snarl.

A slight shudder passes through the informant, feeling his hot breath on his heard a faint laugh come from his lips, the sound made him shudder.

He gasped and tried not to yell as he felt teen sink Into his soft flesh. His eyes flashed open, Dante wasted no time at all, leaving the horrible marks. Each time he bit Into him, he broke the skin, his painted black and blue nails brutally scratching down the raven's body, Leaving angry looking marks.

He whimpered, wanting nothing more than for all of this to be over. 'stop going to slow. . Please. Just get it over with'

He bit his lip as Dante continued to move downwards. The bites becoming harder and harder.

What would he do when he. . . .would he actually try to bite it o- NO. NO NO NO. He shook himself mentally, or allowing himself to think that way. It was just the pain and the paranoia talking.

He let out another yelp of pain as he felt Dante's sharp teeth penetrate the tender skin on his inner thigh. Sure, izaya was a bit of a masochist but this was just way too much.

Fists clenched, he shut his eyes. Praying to a god that he didn't believe in, that all of this would be over soon.

He snickered, "I wonder what would happen off bit this. . " Dante purred sickly, slowly stroking his completely flaccid member.

Izaya tensed. His eyes wide in utter fear. He was trying to prepare himself for the worst pain he had ever felt. 'oh please. .oh please let me bleed out fast..'

But to his surprise the pain didn't come.

Instead he continued to slowly stroke him. "oh izaya. ..you do know I only do this for your own good, right?" He murmured, slowly caressing the limp member.

He didn't respond.

He tsk'd "well then. I guess I'll just have to show you how much I care," He smirked, picking up Izaya's bite covered hips and Positioning himself at the man's entrance.

Then, without any preparation on Izaya's side.

He pushed In.

He let out a strangled screech, trying to keep back the sound. The feeling was almost sheer pain, not only did he have pretty much no lube, but it was totally sudden. He didnt even have a chance to prepare himself mentally. It felt as of he was being torn apart from the inside.

A twisted laugh came from the man, starting to pick up a brutally fast and hard pace. The piece of flesh driving hard into him, causing him to whimper in agony.

Chewing on his Lip hard, he kept back most sounds, trying desperately to cling to some shred of dignity he had. He wouldn't allow him to hear his agony filled screams and screeches that he knew he oh so desperately craved.

He gasped in pain as he felt Dante viscously digging his nails into his side, obviously thing to get him to scream. But he wouldn't allow it. He could take anything else, but he wouldn't let himself scream.

's-stop. ." He whimpered in vain, desperately trying to get him to stop.

The man simply laughed, as if This was the funniest thing in the world. "You brought this upon ourself izaya. ." he whispered, smirking he gave a hard thrust as he spoke the last words.

"all your fault. ."

The words stung like a wasp, because he knew it really was his fault. If he would have just gone to shinra's like he was supposed to!

Izaya let out a small, scream, unable to keep all of it back now. It just hurt too much. 'God. Why didn't he leave when he was supposed to?!

No. . Why hadn't he never gone to shinras in the first place. Better yet, he should have never gone Ikebukuro!

He let out another soft, pained whimper as he sped up even more, the already intense burning sensation growing. After what felt like an hour of excruciating hour of this, Dante suddenly pulled out.

He sneered, as if he knew something that Izaya didn't. What ever it might have been izaya wasn't sure, his mind was too clouded with pain to think straight."I say, we decorate that pretty little face of yours." The man chuckled darkly.

Shifting to his face, he slowly stroked himself. His delicate face contorted into an ugly smirk.

Within moments his face was covered in strings of the warm, white sticky substance.

Izaya involuntarily winced as he felt it get in his eye. The fluid giving a terrible burning sensation.

The man laughed again. "well don't you look fucking perfect,"

With that, he got up. Simply dressing again.

Izaya barely paid attention though, Instead, he stared at the bed and the sheets. The sheets, the once warm and inviting sheets looked like a crime scene, they were stained with a mixture of cum and blood.

As the older man headed out of the room, Izaya slumped over, pulling the dirtied sheet over him.

He had never felt so disgusting in his life. How had the proud, and dignified Izaya Orihara become this? How had he gone from a completely proud and even a bit arrogant man, so someone's toy?!

Everyone else was his toy!

That's how things worked! Not the other way around!

Then a scary thought popped into his head.

What if. . What if this was karmah from fucking with other peoples lives?

No. .how stupid could he get?!

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a person entering the room. The peron stopped for a moment, as if staring at him.

Izaya didn't dare move, simply clutching his sheet tightly around his laying form.

'oh god. .who is this now?'

The thought of Dante coming back made him start to shake as the person approached the bed side. 'please let it be someone else. Please not Dante please!' He silently begged.

The figure stood there for a moment, looming over him.

He didn't dare look up or even close his eyes. His vision simply focused on the bloodied sheets.

The knelt down to the bed side.

that's when he realized who this was.

Oh god why. . .

Why did it have to be him? Why did it have to be Shizuo. .

Izaya screamed at himself mentally , keeping his face totally void of to look as if he hadn't even noticed shizuo kneeling right in front of him. It was all he could do To keep from crying.

After a moment he spoke, his voice surprisingly gentle.

". . Izaya?" His deep voice almost tinted with affection.

He still didn't respond. The informant was too busy screaming mentally at himself.

How could he let Shizu-chan of all people see him like this? Sure it wasn't Dante but why couldn't it have been Namie or Shinra or SOMEONE ELSE?!

He was Covered in his own blood, bruises on his pale skin. And to top it off, having someone else's cum splattered all over his face. That wasn't how he wanted the monster to see him.

The brute opened his mouth as if to say something, but he sighed, deciding not to say. instead,

His warm, strong arms slowly wrapped around the mans smaller frame, enveloping him in warmth. A hand rested on the informants back as he pulled his naked body against his own.

The man froze, his crimson eyes widening at the affection filled notion. Was this really shizuo? Or had he just finally snapped? Was his mind just making up things to make him feel better?

But the warmth tha came from him. No. There wasn't any illusion in the world that could give off this feeling. This had to be Shizuo.

He held him for Moment,Izaya's body still ridged in shock.

". . .Its okay izaya. ." He heard the brute's deep, calming voice murmur to him. "It's going to be okay. ."

He suddenly felt very small. .as if the entire world was towering over him. All of the emotions he had been trying to block out for the past months came crashing down around him, along with those walls he had built around himself so many years ago.

He bit his chewed up lip, his eyes welling up with tears. he swallowed,trying hard to keep the rush of tears at bay.

'Is. .is it okay to finally cry?' He asked himself, but before he could honestly answer his body gave a violent shudder, a choked sob passing through his lips. And the tears that had welled up in his eyes over flowed, now streaming down his bruised and blooodied face. The man hugged him tighter, almost holding him like you'd hold a child Gently and comfortingly.

With slight hesitation His arms wrapped around the blond,his nimble hands desperately clinging to him, as if he was scared that he would let go. He pressed his bare and shaking form to the bodyguard, as if desperate to take in every feeling of his body heat. He pressed his bruised face into his shoulder, his odd convulsing with each sob that came from him.

Like his vision that was blurred with tears, his mind was also fuzzy. But through the swirl of emotions, he could only think one thing only.

'. . .What has happened to me?'


	15. Authors note

Hey guys. I wanna apologize for the Lack of chapters. I've just been in a rut lately, it really sucks. And I've actually forgotten about this story too and about my love of shizaya. Honestly I wanna get back into this couple but I'm having difficulty. Either way you should see some more chapters soon since I'm finally out of school. Anyways thanls for reading mystory guys. It really makes me happy


	16. It's my fault

**It's getting harder and harder to write this! But I'll make sure to end this properly. No matter how much work it is. So please. To the people who review and encourage me to continue, thank you a lot.**

* * *

"I. . I knew he was being abused. . But. .not. .not like that," Shizuo whispered. He was sitting in front of the building, the guy from before beside him. The teen looked up, sighing. "You couldn't have, he never told you, right?" The brute hesitated and then shook his head, frowning. Of course Izaya hadn't said a word about this, how could he have? he was supposed to HATE him.

"I never thought that he'd let anyone do that to him." "Stuff like this just happens. You don't let it, it just. .happens." He muttered. Shizuo's honey gaze slid to him. "Haru . .do you have any type of experience with this?" He asked cautiously. He shook his head, "Not personally, but. .My girlfriend, she's been in this type of situation. .way more than once." He murmured, looking to the ground. A frown crossed his face, "I see, I'm sorry to hear that." He said, unsure of what to respond with. Fortunately for him, Haru continued to speak.

"But there is one thing that's for sure. We need to get him away from Shinjuku. .and Ikebukuro." Shizuo stared at him, speechless. "It'll just happen again, Dante will find him again, and he'll just be abused again." He shook his head. "In the morning, we need to leave. But Izaya needs time to rest. .he's been through a lot. ." He trailed off. There was a brief silence.

The only sound was the sounds of the cars that passed every so often."Maybe. .maybe it's just best to leave tonight." He said, staring hard at the ground. Haru slowly turned his head to the bodyguard. "what?" He blinked a few times. Not exactly expecting that approach. ". .You said that he can't Get over this of he stays here, right?" he said, his unmoving gaze on the floor.

"Then let's just go" he said and stood up. Haru blinked a few times, rising as well. "w-woah. Wait. He needs time to recover Shizuo!" His now blazing only gaze flicked to the teen beside him. "You need to make up your mind, kid." He nearly snapped. Haru flinched and then sighed "sorry. Maybe we should ask Izaya when he wants to leave. That would be best," "I don't give a fuck about what the flea wants!" He yelled.

The teen flinched and sighed, his gaze flicking to him. "It's not your decision." Haru muttered and stood, heading into the building, leaving the now pissed shizuo alone. /god. How could anyone stand to be around him for long?!/ haru kept his gaze to the floor as he made his way back to Izaya's room. /we'll leave in the morning. .but. .what do I do about Shizuo? Shifter has a lot of hotheaded people. .he's bound to to off at someone./ he sighed, a few faces coming to mind. "Inumaru." he called as he walked into the apartment.

On the couch was a young man, most likely in his teens as well. His hair was a chocolate brown and is bangs presumably dyed black. "yeah?" He asked, his sliver gaze sliding to haru. "I need you to make sure izaya will be ready by morning time." he said, not moving from the door way. . .

Meanwhile.  
Outside was relatively quiet, nothing seemed to be awake. .everything was at rest, the cars and their drivers. The man closed his eyes, listening to the silence around him. It was only then, when the silence was broken, did he open his eyes. "Shizu-chan. . We need to talk. ."


End file.
